January 14, 2024

I Ran Away With The Circus

by Stacy Alan


Crunch numbers, make plans, go over the plans, crunch numbers again, chicken out, make new plans, crunch numbers one more time just in case…….almost pull the trigger….never mind let’s wait one more month….okay…Now or Never!! That was our entire year leading up to January 14th, 2014…the day I quit my job and joined the circus.

That’s right I quit my job as a full-time therapist and supervisor of eight people to become a mentalist alongside my magician husband. Oh, and did I mention I did all of this right before my 30th birthday. Seems a little crazy for a successful young professional who was climbing the so-called corporate ladder. 

Stacy Alan Mentalist In College

Yeah, it was crazy, and I still think it’s crazy, but I wouldn’t change it for anything! Never in my life did I think I would wake up and call myself a full-time performer, a performer of magic, nonetheless. Before meeting Jason, I had never stepped foot on a stage or even thought twice about learning a magic trick. But here I am ten years later performing on cruise ships and appearing on national T.V. Pinch me!

Stacy Alan Mentalist Penn & Teller
Jason and Stacy Alan on Penn and Teller Fool us

When we first met, the feeling I got (and still get) watching Jason perform for others was hard to describe. I could spend hours watching him connect with random people through magic. Their genuine reactions and the rawness of his joy while performing sparked something in me. I loved my job, but I wanted to share in what Jason was doing.

We had loads of conversations about me working with him. At first he was completely against it; he mentioned once when we were dating that I would never be in his show. After 10 years of working together almost every single day…although I can’t picture us doing anything else…I can see where his hesitation came from. Don’t get me wrong Jason is my world and we have a very solid relationship, but married entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint of heart. 

As I reflect back on my 10 year journey as a mentalist I can happily say….I’ve loved it all, the good and the bad. The good is obvious, incredible travel, adventures with my best friend all the time, beautiful venues, making people happy, creating, learning new things, growing as a performer and so much more. 

Jason and Stacy Alan Holland Cruise Line

The bad…well the bad is like any other job. There are parts of being a performer that are harder than I ever imagined. I’ll admit I hate practicing and Jason hates that I hate practicing….so you can guess how that goes.  Not having a steady paycheck or a company to provide health insurance can be so challenging. But the hardest parts of being a performer for me are stage fright and learning how to separate work life and real life with Jason. 

Stage fright is no joke…. there have been a lot of big moments in our career together where I’m not sure I could have done it if Jason hadn’t literally nudged me out on stage. Going from a muggle to a full-blown professional mentalist is no small feat. It took many long nights, hard work, anxiety, fights, high fives, failures, laughs and tears to get myself to place where I felt like I wouldn’t immediately die from imposter syndrome when I stepped foot on a stage. 

And although I said work/life balance is one of the biggest challenges for us…we always find a way to make it work. Jason has always believed in me, always pushed me to do more and he was the first one to tell me that I could and should take risks! I am forever grateful for his encouragement and unwavering support as we navigate this crazy life together. 

I cannot wait to see what the next ten years of our magical life brings us!!

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